Penny for My Thoughts

Yet another sob story (and a little about France)

2007-01-29T09:41:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess I should start by writing that things never developed between Tim and me. He seems like another lifetime ago, to be honest. I did meet somebody else, however, by the name of Kristopher Alan Mayo. I love(d) him so very much. We were together for a little over a month and I was actually thinking that my search might be over. But, alas, the same damn story... I honestly blame the two weeks spent in France away. Kristopher and I had spent almost every day with each other for two weeks (including a beautiful Christmas Eve and a wonderful New Year's Eve and Day). I just don't think we were strong enough in our relationship to spend that kind of time apart. When I came back he told me he no longer had feelings for me. He didn't know why, but the "spark" had been lost. I haven't talked to him in several days, but I will call him soon so we can try a friendship. We definitely have some kind of connection so I want to at least try being friends.

Anyway, as I mentioned, I spent two weeks in France (the first week in Paris and the second in Provence). I much preferred Paris to Provence but both were amazing. It's hard to believe that I actually saw the Eiffel Tower and the Mona Lisa up close. The rest of the Louvre as well as the Musee D'Orsay was amazing too. I also got to put my feet into the Mediterranean Sea and go inside Notre Dame... So many things I've always dreamed about now a reality... I'm still trying to decide if it was worth this aching in my heart. I know in the long run it was though.

I didn't know it could be like this!

2006-11-17T20:12:00.000-08:00

I think I failed to mention that I broke it off with TJ (amicably) on October 30. It just wasn't working out. I had started to really resent him and as much as I love(d) him, I knew I deserved better. Anyway, just thought I'd put that out there so you all don't think I'm cheating on TJ! After last night, I am so thankful that God or Fate or whatever gave me the strength to end it with TJ because now I know how I should be treated.

No, I'm not going to claim I'm in love or anything. Been there, done that, know better now. But, I am very giddy and happy right now! I have been talking to Tim for a couple of weeks now and we went on our first date last night. It was so wonderful. I have been on many dates, but I have never been treated so wonderfully. We went out to dinner (which he paid for) and had stimulating, intellectual conversation. We have so much in common and share many of the same beliefs and ideas. We talked about theatre and literature and traveling and politics... It was so refreshing in comparison to other dates I've been on.

And, the best part was at the end of the evening he gave me a painting of an Italian landscape with sunflowers. (I had told him just in passing that my dream is to see Italy and that my dorm room is decorated in a Tuscan/sunflower theme). I was so overwhelmed and appreciative that not only did he remember that but he took the time to go out and find that painting. He was a perfect gentleman too. He kissed me good night and we made plans for over Thanksgiving Break. He's also coming to the plays that I'm doing now at the end of this month. I really hope that things can work out with Tim. I kinda like this one.

All you need is love...

2006-08-21T19:15:00.000-07:00

TJ and I are, once again, back together! We spent a wonderful night together and we both wanted each other back. We had been dating inexclusively for the past several weeks, but TJ never dated anybody else and I only dated one other guy named Billy (I was still madly in love with TJ though). Billy is pretty upset that TJ and I are back together, but I had to follow my heart. In a lot of ways, Billy probably is a "better" match for me, but my heart couldn't be convinced. I really hope TJ and I can stay together and work our issues out. There is so much more riding on our being together this time around.

Where, oh, where to start...?

2006-07-28T17:40:00.000-07:00

Wow. So much has happened. I think that should be my signature statement for this blog since by the time I actually update it, it's the truth! But, where to start? Let's see...

TJ broke up with me...again. But, this time it more more mutual, although he was the breaker-upper (Is that even a word?). Anyway, it's been a little over three weeks now, and I'm just now getting over it. :( At first, it was more mutual because I was becoming more and more unhappy in the relationship. After he ended it, I was naturally devasted and cried a LOT, but I was also slightly relieved. I knew it had to end, but I didn't want to do it. After a few days afterwards though I started to have second thoughts. I knew I was still in love with him; I still am actually. Realistically, I know we aren't right together, but emotionally, I refuse to believe it. The reasons TJ gave for breaking it off are very true, but it still hurts to admit. We are so different from one another and need and want totally different things out of a relationship and out of life in general. We still talk everyday and we are going to be friends. It's just taking longer to heal than I had expected it would.

On a lighter note, I just got back from a short vacation with my dad. We went to Holland, MI for a couple of days. It was really nice there. It is famous for its Dutch village. We went to see their windmill that actually came from the Netherlands and got to see a tour of it and go up it. We also saw some dutch dancers, which was neat. I got some authentic dutch wooden shoes! Downtown Holland was awesome. There was always something going on, and the atmosphere was just great! On our way back home, we stopped by Lake Michigan for a bit too. :) It was a nice time, but the first day was pretty bad for me. My ear was hurting from my surgery and I got a little sick. :(

Speaking of surgery, I had my surgery! lol It went, and I quote my ENT doctor, "beautifully." My check-up afterwards went very well also. My second check-up is Monday. I was so scared to get surgery, but it wasn't really so bad. My doctor doesn't think I will have to get another one, but it's still a good possibility. TJ came to the hospital to be with me, which really made me happy. One of the nurses told me before I went to sleep to think of something nice, and I immediately thought of TJ. So, I saw his face as I fell asleep and his was the first face I saw when I woke up. :) Lord, I do love him so much...

We went to Niagara Falls this summer too. It was me, my dad, my uncle Robert, my aunt Melinda, and my cousins Heather and Sarah. It was so beautiful! I got to go right underneath the falls on the Maid of the Mist, the boat, and a guided tour called Cave of the Winds. So cool!

And, well, that's been my life for the past month or so... Post to you later!

TJ and I got back together

2006-06-09T13:12:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been one hell of an emotional week for me. I've been through so many emotions, it's not even funny - a lot of times more than one at the same time. Since TJ broke up with me, I've felt angry, worried, confused, scared, stressed, insecure, depressed, etc.

TJ called me for the first time after our break-up a few days later. I had convinced myself that I would never hear from him again because he had told me he would call earlier than that. He was upset too, but after talking he said although he wanted to be with me that he couldn't. That just made even more confused. I was getting through the grieving process, but after talking to him, I didn't know what to do.

We talked again the next day. TJ and I talked about what had happened and we both apolgized, and told each other we loved and missed one another. He said he still didn't know if we should get back together, but that there was still hope.

During all of this, I kept getting so much advice from friends and family that I didn't know who to listen to or what to do. I had never felt so overwhelmed. Some people were saying not to call him again and let him do all the calling, and other people were saying to call when I felt like it and not to make it into a game.

But anyway, after all of this, TJ and I decided to meet in person last night. It just so happened to be exactly a month since we had met. We cried and talked and kissed and hugged, and then talked and cried some more. We definitely got a lot of things off our chests. We decided that we deserved a second chance and so we are now back together.

I won't lie. The hurt hasn't completely gone away. My trust in him was shaken, if not completely shattered, and it will take some time for me to completely heal. And I'm sure he feels the same way when it comes to me. But I love him and he loves me and I do believe we deserve one more shot.

Life just couldn't get any worse...

2006-06-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

TJ broke up with me yesterday. He was supposed to pick me up like usual Thursday night, but I waited and waited and waited and he never did come get me. I was obviously extremely mad, worried, and confused all at the same time. He's never broken a promise to me. Plus, he didn't even bother calling me to let me know he couldn't make it for whatever reason. So, I was a mess all Thursday night. I called him numerous times on his cell phone without getting ahold of him. So, I decided to look up his brother's number since I'd met him and his wife once and I knew that TJ visited them a lot. I never got an answer there either, so I figured I had the wrong number. Then I decided to look up his work phone and call that to see what time he left work Thursday night. His boss said around the usual time, 12 pm. He could tell I was upset and he said he'd tell TJ to call me as soon as he got in. Well, I spent all day crying and calling TJ, completely clueless. My dad had the idea to just go to his house, but of course, I had no idea how to get there because of my wonderful directions ability. So, my dad said to try Papa John's again to see if they could tell me his address. I did, but apparently when TJ worked there he was still in the process of moving and had put his and his ex's old address. So, when 5:30 (when he was supposed to come into work) rolled around I waited for him to call and he never did, so I called him on his cell again without success. Then I decided to call Papa John's again. He was just getting into work at this time. I was put on hold by this girl and then got "disconnected." Later I found out TJ had just hung up. So, I called back and TJ got on and said, "NEVER call up here!" and hung up. I tried racking my brain but I could not for the life of me figure out what in the world I had done to upset him so much. I didn't know why he was treating me this way. So, my dad decides to take me all the way to Cumberland because he said, if anything, I deserved an explanation. So, we finally found the place and, by now more mad than anything, I storm in and ask for TJ. I look back and I see him folding boxes and he looks up and sees me. After giving me this look like he wanted nothing more for me to die on the spot, he just kept working like I wasn't there. Then I just start bawling and he finally stops folding boxes and starts to go for a run. He leans over me and says, "I'm going for a run. Call me." I keep crying as he's walking out and he turns to me again and says, "Sweetheart, just call." Now, he did say "sweetheart" but his tone wasn't any more kind, so I didn't know what to think. But I call him and after all day, he finally answers. I ask him what I did to deserve all this and he says that during our last conversation on the phone around 10 pm Thursday I said something that royally pissed him off. That still told me nothing. I asked what I said that was so horrible and he said, "Nobody tells me where I can and can't take my kids." It took me a moment, but I finally realized what he was talking about. It was so absurd that I almost laughed. See, we were talking about honeymoons and he had told me that when his mom remarried she had taken the kids with them on her honeymoon. I said lightheartedly, "Well, if we ever get married, those kids are not coming on the honeymoon." And I laughed because I was trying to make a joke out of the idea of taking 6 kids on a honeymoon. But, apparently this upset him. But instead of letting me know this, he continued talking to me and then said, "Well, sweetie, I need to let my phone charge. I'll call you in a bit." Well, obviously he never did call me back. He stood me up completely. So that was his initial reason for being upset. He claimed that he had just needed time to cool down and that he was going to call me later. But when he found out that I had called his work (apparently I got his boss a little worried too and he called TJ) then it made him even more mad because he says he will not mix work and pleasure. He said he still planned on talking to me about it, but my actually coming to his work was "the biggest mistake" I could have ever made. I told him he had left me with no other choice and that I was worried and desperate. He said, "No, desperate is calling my family. This is insanity." So, apparently I did get his brother's number right... The way I see it is he was refusing to talk to me and I knew for a fact he was mad when he hung up on me and I figured if we were over, I had a right to know what the hell I did. So, I asked him, "So, what does that mean? Are you breaking up with me?" He said, "We can work on being friends, but no, I don't want to be with you." I start crying again and ask if he loved me at all. He didn't say anything which was answer enough for me. Then he says, "Of course I love you." I said since we both love each other and this was just a misunderstanding we should work it out. He didn't say anything and I thought he had hung up on me before he finally spoke. He said, "I will call you later and we'll talk." So, I said, "So, does that mean we're not over yet?" He said again, "We will talk. But, you're best bet is to go home." I asked when he would call and he said either tonight (last night) or sometime tomorrow (today). Before I hung up I said, "TJ, I love you so much." He didn't say anything. I was about to hang up when I heard him mumble, "Love-you-too-bye." And I've been crying and heart-broken ever since. He didn't call me last night, so he's either going to call me today or I will never hear from him again and I've just lost the love of my life.

Life just couldn't get better!

2006-05-19T23:02:00.000-07:00

I am feeling sooo in love right now! I have been with my new boyfriend for exactly a week this very hour! We have been dating for two weeks this Tuesday. *contented sigh* His name is T.J. and he is 28. I was honestly beginning to believe that they didn't make men like T.J. anymore, but then he came into my life like a guardian angel. He treats me better than I have ever been treated. We've seen each other almost everyday (minus a few days) since we met for the first time on May 9. We became official May 13. :) :) Anyway, he has six kids with his ex-wife. They are Tiffany, 11, Tori, 9, Tony, 7, Travis, 5, Taressa, 3, and Tessa, 2. I've met all of them except Taressa. I must say I have fallen in love with them too. I talk to them on the phone as often as I can. :) T.J. makes me so happy. I always have a smile on my face now, except right after I have to say goodbye to him after seeing him.

I am also out of school for the summer now! Woohoo! Even more time with T.J.! *hehe* I also found out that I am going to be living in an single next year instead of rooming with somebody!!! Yea!!!! I am so excited! I started out as #2 on the waitlist. I got the email from residence life the last day of school! I know it might not seem like a big deal (hehe), but I really wanted this!

And, around my birthday, my dad gave me the deposit to go to France this coming winter! I had asked him, but I didn't think I would actually be getting to go! *screams and jumps up and down*

The only thing that coul dpossibly bring me down now is my surgery coming up. I will have to schedule that soon. But, I'm feeling a little better about it, especially now that I have T.J. He told me that nothing could possibly happen to me because he couldn't bring himself to believe that life would be cruel enough to bring me into his life just to lose me. Yes, I know, he's such a sweetie. He actually makes me cry sometimes... I love him so much.

Cinderella!!!!!!!

2006-03-16T14:04:00.000-08:00

I got cast in Cinderella!!! Nikki did too! :) No, I'm not Cinderella or anything, but I am just so happy to be on that cast list! Both of us are chorus/dancers. Ohhh, I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update on the Life of Shana

2006-03-10T22:27:00.000-08:00

Hello all. Sorry for not posting earlier; I've been so busy. A lot has happened since I posed last time. It seems things in my life happen one right after the other in such short periods of time.

First off, Josh and I have been broken up for about a month and a half. The long distance just wasn't working and when I was honest with myself, I realized I was not in love with him. I have been fortunate enough to have experienced true love twice now, and it just wasn't happening with him. I loved him, and still do, more as a friend. We still talk occasionally on the phone.

For a long time now I have been in love with a man named Eric Wilson (no, we aren't related). We went on one date almost a year ago. He is currently stationed in Iraq and we write to one another. I really feel he could be the one for me. I dated him before I was ever involved with Kyo even. But even after all my other relationships, I have never rid myself of my feelings for Eric. We are so different in a lot of ways too. But, like they say, opposites attract. He does not want a relationship right now though because he wants to figure out his own life first before involving anyone else. I am trying to deal with that and move on, but it's hard sometimes. I miss him so much and I've only met him once.

I got some terrible news from my ENT doctor recently. I will have to have surgery on my left ear because there is a cist in it that is eating away at my eardrum and ear bones. I have basically deaf in that ear and it often hurts. I know it is for the best, but I am absolutely terrified of havign surgery. This will be my first one. I go back to my ENT doctor Wednesday to set up a date.

Auditions for my college's production of Cinderella are this Tuesday. I am really excited! We have to sing one minute of a showtune and I chose (finally!) My Favorite Things for The Sound of Music. I sang it in competition in high school, so I'm fairly confident about it. There are eight female roles available. I really want to be cast! I love musicals! I am currently doing tech work for our production of The Glass Menagerie, but I much prefer acting.

I'll try to update more often... but don't hold me to that! *lol*

Wow! It's been a while...

2005-12-20T16:36:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not updating in like centuries! *lol* Well, let's see... So much has happened! My last post I wrote about Aaron and Eri's wedding and breaking up with Kyo. Well, Aaron and Eri are doing fine. They had their second wedding in Hawaii in October. They are living in their own apartment here in Indy and so far, so good, I think. :)

As far as Kyo and I are concerned, we are still broken up. A lot happened after we broke up though. We tried being friends, but after a couple of months of dating other people and both of us going through jealousy and resentment and all that stuff, I finally told him that I didn't think being friends was going to work either. He was pretty mad at me, but we haven't talked in almost a month and, I must say, I've felt better than I have the entire two and a half months we've been broken up.

On another note regarding my love life, I am currently dating a wonderful man named Josh (AKA Joshy;)!!! We have been dating for almost four weeks now and I am feeling very much in love (who could have thought it possible after Kyo?!). Josh is 25 years old and lives in Petersburg, about three hours south of Indy. Yes, another long distance relationship, but at least, unlike some other boyfriend I know of, he has a car and works very hard. He works on a farm. He has coal black hair, brown eyes, and beautiful long, black eye lashes! *sigh* I am going to take it a lot slower with Josh than I did with Kyo, but for right now, he is just what I need. He makes me happy and I hadn't been happy in months.

Well, it's almost Christmas now!!! I did all my shopping yesterday! I got Eri's, Aaron's, and my dad's gifts. I got Josh his present earlier and we exchanged gifts when he visited this past Saturday. He got me 10 K gold heart-shaped earrings with emerald stones (my birthstone). I love them! I got him some men's body spray, which he seemed to like. :) Four more days until Christmas Day!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!!!

Two Weddings and A Break-Up

2005-09-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

The Saturday before last was my cousin Brandon's wedding. He got married in the woods in Nashville, IN. It was a nice ceremony, even though it was late getting started. Everything was very simple and sweet. Allison, the bride's, gown was very elegant and pretty. My uncle Rick, Brandon's dad, sang and played a song for them on his guitar during the lighting of the unity candle. They used a horse-drawn carriage to take all the guests to the ceremony site, which was unique. The reception was in a small log cabin-like place. It was way too small for the number of guests (200+). I think they may not have thought ahead and planned too well. It was sooo cramped and uncomfortable! Even the special dances and everything seemed unorganized. Over all, the wedding was a nice idea, but an idea that probably should have stayed in the head. I hate to say that, but it's true. :(

This past Saturday was my brother's wedding. They had it at the First Christian Church in Edinburgh. The ceremony was a Zen ceremony and was very refreshing and special. The ring bearer was Aaron's best friend's 18 month old son, Archer. He was sooo adorable! Archer's mom was the maid of honor and Erik, Aaron's best friend and Archer's daddy, was the best man. There were only 23 guests total because it was just our family. They will have another wedding in Hawaii for Eri's family soon. I believe they leave this following Monday. Anyway, the reception was in the fellowship hall. It was a tropical theme. They had all Jimm Buffett and Jimmy Buffett-esqe songs playing in the background, smoothies to drink, Hawaiian decor, leis, the works! It was sooo much fun!!! Well....until I called Kyo and broke up with him. :(

I still love Kyo with all of my heart, but as of now, our relationship just isn't working. He was supposed to come to Aaron's wedding, but like always, money was an issue and he couldn't make it. This was the third time he'd promised to visit me and then couldn't. I suppose I just decided I'd had enough. It wasn't a few hours later, however, that I was calling him and apologizing. Sooo, we were "back together" for like one night. When I called him the next day, I could tell things had changed between us though. It was then that we both sort of agreed that taking a break would probably be the best for both of us. That isn't to say we are broken up for good, but right now we both need time to get other things straightened out. We still plan on keeping in touch. Hopefully, everything will turn out for the best...

Labor Day Weekend/Rib Fest

2005-09-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

I had quite an enjoyable Labor Day weekend, well Saturday anyhow. My dad, Aaron, Eri, and I went to the Indy Rib Fest. I went last year with my dad. It was a lot of fun! There was live music and all kinds of different ribs! I had Sgt. Oinks' (hehe) pork pulled sandwich - very tasty!

Then we all went to see Red Eye. It was such an awesome, exhilarating movie! I *really* got into it! *lol* Rachel McAdams kicks ass!!!

At night Aaron, Eri, and I went to see the Jack FM fireworks concert. Unfortunately the theme was "It's A Great Country" (yeah, right!) and there was some horrible music... BUT, the actual fireworks were spectacular!!! Best I've seen in all my 20 years - hands down!!!

I got cast!

2005-09-02T21:33:00.000-07:00

I was cast in Macbeth!!! I am so excited! :) I will play the roles of Lady Macduff and Banquo! This will definitely be the most challenging play I've been in by far, but I am looking forward to "proving" myself as an actress. I got my script today and I was looking over my lines and my first thought was, "Oh, *BLEEP*, what have I got myself into?!" *lol* But, I know I will do fine with my family and Kyo supporting me. :) :)

YEA ME!!!

Back to School

2005-08-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

I moved back to Franklin on Sunday. I am rooming with a friend of mine, Nikki! She's such a sweetie! :) It was a headache moving in: rearranging furniture, putting my stuff in place, getting my computer hooked up (which I never have luck with, this time being no different, erg!). But, now everything is all set up and I am adjusting to life back on campus.

Today was my first day of classes. I had my Earth Science class/lab and my Intro to Literary Studies class. I am terrified of the former and looking forward to the latter. For this semester I am also taking History I, Acting I, and Script Analysis & Theory. I only have History tomorrow, so I get to sleep in! Yea! :) Tomorrow is also auditions for Macbeth! I hope I get cast; I'm looking forward to getting back into working at the theatre. I decided to drop my Theatre major to a minor though, so I could also minor in Rhetoric. That way I think I will get a more rounded English education. I am now an English major with a double minor in Theatre and Rhetoric!

I also got really lucky and found a job! I will be working as a phone team member, which basically means I will be calling alum and friends of the college and asking for donations. It should be fun, plus I really need the extra cash (mainly to see Kyo, of course!;).

A Bridal Shower Weekend

2005-08-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to two bridal showers! Eri's was on Saturday and my cousin Brandon's fiance, Allison's, was today. Eri had her's in the Tea Room at Step Back In Time in Edinburgh. It was very simple and sweet with all of the women in my family there. After a delicious meal, Eri opened her gifts. She got a lot of nice things, mainly kitchen appliances. She was just glowing! I know she really felt blessed and overwhelmed. I loved seeing her so happy! Afterwards, at home, she set her gifts on the dining room floor and just sat in the middle of them, admiring everything. :)

Allison's was this afternoon at the First Christian Church in Edinburgh. The decorations were sooo beautiful!!! There were candles, balloons, confetti...the works! We played two games: A wedding word scramble and a game where we had to guess the dish a combination of ingredients made (I was terrible at this one seeing as cooking is a foreighn concerpt to me! *lol*). I didn't win anything though. :( *hehe* Anyway, we had cake while Allison opened her gifts. She also got a lot of kitchen appliances, but she also got some "Memory" pillows with these gorgeous silk pillow cases. I fell in love!!! *lol* She also got this really cool suitcase. It was huuugggee!!!

Anyway, I want it to be my turn more than ever now!!! Waaa!!! Hurry up, Kyo! *lol* But, I know I still have plenty of time and a lot to do before I can get married. *sigh* ;)

Aaron's Birthday and an Indians Game

2005-08-19T11:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Aaron's 22nd birthday! Yea! Man, he's old! *hehe* He got a hug from me (*lol* Hey, I'm broke!), a black, button-up, short sleeve Banana Republic shirt from Eri, which he picked out himself a few days ago (*sigh*), and a Tommy Bahama (not to be confused with Tommy Hilfiger!) Hawaiian shirt from my dad.

We celebrated by going to P.F. Chang's, which is a nice Chinese restaurant that he loves. I told the waiter that it was his birthday and Aaron got annoyed because he doesn't like attention, but I told him "good things happen when people know it's your birthday!" And, sure enough, the waiter brought him a free cheesecake! ;) So, in a way, I got him that too! *lol* Good sissy!!! *hehe*

Later, we went to an Indy Indians game. I really hate sports, so I didn't like it at all, but he seemed to enjoy it. I know Eri did because she'd been dying to go to a game! *lol* I did get some Crackerjacks, which are always enjoyable! Oh, and we did win... I told them that it was because I was there. Seriously, I've only been to three Indians games in my entire life and all three times they won. Plus, I had the chance to go to a game for my senior trip in high school, but I skipped it because, like I said, I hate sports, and they lost. Now I bet anything that they'd have won if *I* had been there, seeing as I seem to be a lucky charm for them. ;) *lol*

Now today is my bestest cousin in the world, Heather's, birthday!!! She's is 19 on the 19th! *hehe* Now, you know I gotta sing; there's just no way out of it! *lol* Here goes!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOUUUU!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOUUUUU!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAT DEAR HEEEAAATTHHHEERRRRR!!!!! HAAAPPPYYYY BIIIRRTHHDAAAY TOOOOO YOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!!

Until next time folks! Adieu!

State Fair

2005-08-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to the Indiana State Fair with my aunt, Darlene, my cousin, Amanda, Aaron, and Eri. I had a lot of fun, but of course, like everything else I do, it would have been much better if Kyo had been there.

Anyway, we didn't get to ride any rides because we didn't have much money. We got to see a lot of neat things though. We went to see the farm animals and there was a one day old baby lamb! Aww!!! It was sooo adorable! We also looked at vegetables. I know, doesn't sound too great! *lol* But, there were some *huge* veggies there!!

Speaking of huge, the food at the fair was super-size. Aaron, Eri, and I shared "The World's Largest Strawberry Shortcake." *hehe* Eri was upset because it didn't "look that big." *lol* Later on Aaron and I each got an "Extra-Long Corndog" and they weren't lying! Aaron couldn't quite finish his. *hehe* ;)

Later, Darlene and Amanda went to go see some country singer on the free stage and Aaron, Eri, and I walked around a little more and rode the tram. They bought a carved coconut for their wedding reception (which is tropical themed) and then we headed on home! :)

Holiday World trip

2005-08-05T11:36:00.000-07:00

This past Wednesday my dad, Aaron, Eri, and I went to Holiday World! It was much more fun than I had expected it would be. I say this because we go every year and the past few years have been a bit boring. But, I think Eri being there added a little something to make it more enjoyable. :) It would have been even better if Kyo had been able to come too. :(

Anyway, we left at around 10:30 am and got there around 1:30 pm. We wanted to get there much earlier, but I slept in later than I had intended (Oops!). Aaron, Eri, and I spent most of the day at Splashin' Safari, the water park there. We swam in the wave pool and relaxed in the "Conga River."

We also rode rides, of course. I skipped the rollercoasters this year (although Aaron dragged Eri on The Raven). However, I did go on this thing that shoots you in the air and then just drops you (can't remember what it's called...). That is officially one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. *shudder*.

Anyway, we got home at around 12:30 am on Thursday. I was sooo tired (not to mention SUNBURNED to a crisp!). I did make time, however, to chat with my sweetie Kyo before heading of to bed. *hehe*

A week with Kyo, a day at the zoo, and daddy/daughter day

2005-07-31T21:44:00.000-07:00

Kyo came for the second time last week! I miss him already, but we are already making plans to see each other again soon. He stayed from the 26th to the 30th. This time he stayed at my home. We spent most of our time wrapped in each other's arms! I think that's what we both needed the most. In fact, the only time we actually went out was on Friday. *hehe* We went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I had already seen it, but I wanted to go with Kyo too. I love that movie! Johnny Depp... *drool* Anyway, (lol) the movie was longer than we had expected, so he ended up missing his bus. Oops! But, fortunately (for me anyway! hehe), he got to stay another night and left Saturday morning.

Although I was far from being in the mood, my family decided (against my wishes) to drag me to the zoo the very day Kyo left! *sigh* It wasn't so bad, I guess, but I wasn't a happy camper, to be honest. I was tired, sad, PMSing (lol), etc. I just wanted to go home, go to my room, and cry myself to sleep... If I enjoyed anything, it was the flower garden, the butterfly garden, the new dolphin dome, and the seahorses. Everything else I could have done without.

Today my dad took me out on a daddy/daughter day! We went to Starbucks for coffee, got some breakfast at my favorite breakfast place (Le Peep:), visited my mammaw (which was the only bad part because she just wanted to scold us as usual...erg), went shopping (Yea! I got a purse I've been dying to have for a long time!), went to Applebee's for lunch, and came home and watched The Sound of Music together. It was a really nice day! :)

Eri is Home!

2005-07-07T17:48:00.000-07:00

Eri is home!

My sis-in-law finally arrived from Japan for good! She got here early this morning, a little past midnight. Her flight was delayed three times! But, fortunately, she arrived safely. Now everyone is home and happy! Now we can all prepare for the wedding! Finally, one less hurtle to go through. It's been a long time coming and I am so happy for Aaron and Eri. I know my brother is relieved.

Talk atcha later! :)

4th of July

2005-07-05T18:43:00.000-07:00

First off, I want to start by singing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR KYO! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

My sweet Kyo is now the big 2-0! Yea!!!

Anyway, what I did yesterday:

Yesterday, I went with Aaron and my dad to the annual Indy "Freedom Festival." There were a lot of people, food, and games. I didn't get to play any games because my dad wouldn't let me. "They're for kids!" :( I had a nice time anyway, even though it was really hot during the day and freezing at night during the fireworks. This was my first time watching the Indy fireworks. I was impressed; much better than Edinburgh's usual show. But, I was expecting a little bit better. You know, being a big city and all... It was *that* much better than little 'ol Edinburgh. Oh, well. I had a pretty decent 4th of July overall.

Tomorrow Eri is coming home! Yea! I am so excited to meet her again and for her to finally be here permanently! And I know Aaron is relieved! :) I'm looking forward to the wedding! I can hardly wait!!!

A friendship rekindled

2005-07-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

My best friend, Crystal, visited last night! I hadn't talked to her in about three months and I hadn't seen her in almost a year! We, unfortunately, drifted apart a little after I went to college and she moved out on her own. I called her almost every single day, but she claims that she has been so busy because she works two jobs and is still working to get her high school diploma. The day before yesterday, however, she called me with an urgent message saying her grandmother, whom I was/am very close to, was in the hospital. We met there and it seemed like we had never been apart. It's always been like that for us. No matter how much time seems to pass, we never miss a beat. Her grandmother (our Mammaw Kelsay) is doing just fine, by the way. :) Anyway, she finally came up to Indy last night. This was the first time she's seen my house here since I moved. We talked for hours, did a little clothes exchanging (hehe), and my dad and I took her to one of my favorite Scottish restaurants. I really enjoyed hanging out with her, just like old times. I feel a little bad because I was on the phone with Kyo for a while because there was a misunderstanding between us, but Crystal seemed to understand and didn't seem to be upset. We have been best friends for seven years this past June and, hopefully, from now on, we can see each other and talk more often.

Love lives in Merrillville

2005-06-27T21:19:00.000-07:00

Kyo left yesterday evening after a beautiful, blissful four days together. I miss him so much already! He gave me his scarf/bandana (which he wore all the time! *hehe*) for me to keep while he is away. I'm surprised he was actually able to part with the thing! *lol* I slept with it on my pillow because it still smells like him... *sigh* He came Wednesday the 22nd and stayed through the 26th. We stayed in a hotel together, so I was getting used to waking up with him there. I felt so empty waking up this morning. I woke up several times last night trying to reach for his arm and then realizing he wasn't there. We mainly just spent time enjoying each other's company: talking, cuddling...kissing. *hehe* He is even sweeter than I could ever have hoped! He opened doors, gave massages, held my hand... He is just so attentive. All he cared about was making me happy and taking care of me. We also went to the mall a couple of times, took a relazing stroll on the canal, went to my cousin's wedding, and spent time with my dad and brother. The canal walk was my favorite time. It was just us and it was getting late, so the sky looked so beautiful like it was painted just for us. We sat under the willow tree on a bench and I just layed my head in his lap while he softly sang to me (he does that..too adorable) and ran his fingers through my hair. I felt so at peace with myself and the world. I wish I could capture that moment and keep it forever.I love him so much. We've only been talking for approximately four months and dating for a little over two weeks, but I think he may be my soul-mate. In fact, I know he is. We fill in each other's hearts and souls. It's hard to explain, but I've never felt this way. I love him so much, but I also need him. He completes me. We openly discuss our future together as though marriage and children are not an "if," but a "when" and it feels so natural because I know I will be with him. I'm sure it has happened many times before, but in my mind, I find it hard to believe that two people have ever connected as perfectly as Kyo and I. Then again, I suppose most couples in love believe their love is the greatest. But, ours really is! *lol* He is planning to visit again in a couple of weeks. We have discussed finding a place together, but we'll see how it goes. For now I'm just enjoying being in love. I am so blissful, but I am currently miserable being apart from him. When we talked today, he told me that when he got back on the bus he felt like a hole had been formed inside him and he actually cried (which is very, very unusual for Kyo!). I, on the other hand, bawled and bawled and bawled into his chest half an hour before the bus even came... I felt like I had ripped out my heart and put it on bus. But, we will be together again soon, as he keeps trying to remind me. *sigh*

I can't wait any longer!

2005-06-21T13:31:00.000-07:00

Kyo will be here tomorrow. He was supposed to leave early in the morning and be here around 11 or noon, but now he tells me that he can only make the noon bus. Now he won't be here until 5 at the earliest! :( I want my Kyo! *sigh* I suppose I've waited this long...

Big day today!

2005-06-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

Well, today, or rather, yesterday, was Father's Day. Since I don't have a job, I sent my daddy an ecard from 123greetings.com. Great place! Anyway, Aaron got him some Tommy Bahama cologne... Mmm... Anyway, we also went to the Indy Jazz Fest! Yea! We went last year too. It was pretty enjoyable. Good food, good music, good ambiance, good company. The best was definitely Tony Bennett. I never really considered myself a fan, but he put on a great show. Can you believe he's been making music for 60 years!!! That's just incredible, imho.

In other news, my relationship with Kyo is progressing nicely. We talk on the phone several times a day and he just makes my heart melt! I love him sooo much! Only two more days until we get to finally be together! I swear I'm going to hold him and not let him go forever!

Well, that's all for now! Talk atcha later!:)

Welcome!

2005-06-18T20:55:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my blog! Man, it was a hassle to make! Easy, my foot... Well, anyhoo, I am a very interesting gal ;) so be sure to check out any future entries!